Anyone remember what it was like to be 5....and bored because there was "nothing to do" . Usually that meant it was raining and I couldn't go out side and hunt for rocks , bugs and other bits of natural wonder to sneak into the house .
Now, I can never seem to find enough time to do all the things that I want to do , things I "need" to do and things I want to learn "how" to do . I blame the Internet for this.... it feels like being a diabetic in a candy store for me. I now have hundreds of bookmarks to go read in more depth...."someday", blogs I like to visit,(and will eventually list here, when I figure out how .) There is Wrong Planet, an aspie support site that always has great threads to read and respond to as well as links to other things "aspie related" that I like to read . Then their is Etsy...forums and stores to check out. My own store to stock...which I have sadly neglected of late. Emails from the author of The Eyes of Time to try and decipher, and others from networking sites I read but seldom find time to respond to . There are several crafting related sites I like to visit and some supply stores I like to go and dream about buying things from. Once and a while, I wonder into ebay and get lost in there. Mean while, back in three dimensional space....the cats are fighting again, my BF seems to think he has something to say that I just have to hear and the dishes need washing.
So here I am, blogging into the abyss with the nagging feeling that I really should clean up the house so that the land lord can come fix the dish-washer and not evict us for the crime of clutter . Which brings me to the real delima....executive dysfunction and OCD hording.
Now, don't misunderstand, this is not an isolated Aspie trait and many aspies are pathological about keeping order in their houses . Also, I don't live in one of those houses you see condemned by social services with cat feces, piles of Newspapers and moldy dishes . It's "clean" just over flowing, like a thrift-store cornucopia ...(appropriate because that is where most of it came from.)
I am just a treasure hunter with a dislike for throwing things into land fills. Living with little money has contributed to this....remember Grandmas drawer of bits of string, bolts and gag gifts ? Mine are filled with "crafting supplies" . Perhaps the problem is that to qualify as a crafting supply you need only be something I find "cool"...bits of metal, broken jewelry, a plethora of paints, pens, rulers, leather, thread, snaps, needles, broken toys and electrical equipment, hardware, fabric scraps, doll parts, fur scraps, and Misc.
My current system of storage is boxes, piles and piles of boxes. If I had the space, I guarantee you that all this would be organized...I like to stack and line things up....but the shelves are all full of vintage toys, Asian and Mexican sculpture and pottery, Ketch bits, stuffed animals and dolls. Any free space is filled with interesting sticks, bark, shells and rocks ......and it is all "valuable" to me. Yeah, the pot has a chip and the wood sculpture has a small crack in it's base but...it's texture and sparkle and visual interest to me. If I ever look up from the computer....I am not bored . I have considered selling or donating some things and may yet, but....what if it doesn't find a home or is eventually throw in the garbage by the new owner ? It will be my fault .
I know it sounds neurotic and probably is but I'm not sure if it is because of AS and hating change or being "abandoned" as a kid and not wanting to my "object friends" . I know my biological sisters don't appear to be hoarders but my bio-mother was and is and all indications is that she is probably also an aspie . So is it the aspie gene, abandonment or a separate hording gene ? Is it years of being to broke to buy new things and having to "make do" or some primitive instinct to not be wasteful, like many native cultures who used "everything with respect and appreciation" ? Is it an emotional attachment to objects or a desire for constant visual interest ? I don't know, but what ever it is...it sure is hard to explain to the landlord .
So, today is....make neater piles day . Trying to get the fabric in mostly one place and the book binding in another is the first step . Considering it is spread between 4 separate rooms...it will be a very long day .
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