Thursday, November 27, 2008
This is a place to download books...for free . I just found several classic books and it appears this sight even offers an option of listening to them ....bed time stories...for free ? A wonderful gift for us all .
Happy reading or listening !
As a person who has tended towards depression and negative ruminating, one of the most helpful things I was taught was.... to open my eyes to the small things in life worth being thankful for, (sometimes I need reminders to do this) . I know this can be challenging when life feels over-whelming and there is so much pain in the world . Even when my own life feels free of pain, I am often hurt by the pain of others around me. This seems to contradict some stereo-types of autistics being indifferent to others, but I have had others aspies express the same issue . It's true that I may often be wrapped up in my own interests and unaware of that others are hurting, other times I just don't know what to "do" to help, so I stay mute. But there are obvious sufferings that hurt like I am passing through fire . To see a vulnerable animal or child in pain, to think of all the "strangers" who are currently hungry, cold, lonely and lost to hope .
Today, my heart is with the people in India, but inspite of the medias lack of coverage of other issues, I know that there are also currently genocides being ignored and millions of people else where being exploited . These things hurt me . That we live ina world where people can inflict such hurt on others...hurts me . One very unhelpful thing that some people used to do when I was depressed was try and say I should stop thinking about my own small problems and be grateful that I wasn't starving in Africa . Is that really supposed to make me feel better...that there are people suffering more then me...absurd,( and honestly, always made my depression more over whelming) .
Instead, for me, the best way to feel some relief from all the worlds pain is to focus on the things in life I am grateful for . One huge one for me is all the people who extend their hearts to those that are suffering . Statistically, their are more of them then the few who wish to harm others.
I am grateful for the many people in my own life who have helped me personally get through some very difficult times.....family, friends and most amazingly...complete strangers . I am also grateful, for the few people and animals, I have been allowed to try and help . I see every opportunity as a chance to pay back the huge debt I owe to those who have helped me . I don't know of anything that feels better then knowing you have given a bit of comfort or love to a stranger or one of the dogs I used to work with .
I also want to give thanks for all the beautiful animals who have shared their life with me and the humans who have tolerated my "differences" and excepted me inspite of them . I want to give thanks to the artist and authors who have saved my life with their beauty, insight, and humor . You will never know how close I was to leaving this world but kept going because I had to find out how the story ended...(yours, not mine) . A huge thank you for the people who worked so hard to make the Internet happen and all those who have taken their time to keep it going . You have made some aspies, much less lonely and I think opened the world to us .
And to whatever power, created the million miracles I have found in the natural world...the shiny rocks, fuzzy animals, redwood forests, waterfalls and most importantly the ability to "feel" their beauty....simply stunning....Thank You !
Secondly, and this is a bit related, I was just viewing some book binding tutorials on UTube...(they have so many amazing tutorials on there...Love it), and came across my "mystery" book binding machine . No magic words revealed, but they did show the rest of the machine and how to use this part of it . I thought it was pretty cool to finally see it in it's "proper use", but am glad I didn't limit myself by thing of it as only "one thing" because it has worked nicely for other steps in the binding .
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I know, the economy is in a slump and this may seem like an absurd time to be starting a business , but how better to stimulate the economy then offering a product that is not mass-produced but made for each individual to suit their needs ? That's the small picture but the big picture is even crazier...put on your seat belts for this one.
We want to start a community for aspies . The research shows that, as a whole, we are often under-employed and under paid for our intelligence, education and skill levels. I believe that we are an untapped and under-utilized resource that sit like a sea of oil beneath the tundra .....(and we can be tapped with out harming the natural environment of the local denizens. ) We all come to the community with a unique set of skills and interests . What keeps us from achieving this in main stream, NT dominated society ? Well, some do, but for others, I believe it starts with an environment that is hostile to our sensory issues . This isn't done intentionally or maliciously, but because the majority tends to design an environment that is most compatible to their own and have little knowledge of other neurologies .
Another is social skills differences. Some aspies would prefer less or more social contact then they have. They are forced into more socializing by societal expectations and jobs, or given less chance for more socializing because others misunderstand their "differences" . Over 80% of human communication is non-verbal and innate to neurotypicals . Most people on the spectrum are missing out on a great deal of that communication. It can be "learned" but even that takes a great deal of time and effort and detracts from other social expectations. It's a bit like trying to juggle 3 oranges while doing the dishes...you may get both things done but it's going to take longer, will not be done as well and some of those oranges are going to get wet . To me, it makes sense that we tend to be verbose...it is our main resource for communicating . I think after an initial period of mass confusion, we will eventually find our own voices with each other.
OK...I have to shower and go to a staff meeting...don't you hate when life gets in the way of your "interests" ?
Monday, November 24, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Made the front page on Etsy last night. I tried to post a link to the screen shot but I was defeated by technology...again. So, at least I can post this link so you can see her wonderful felting and hats from her store. The featured hat was her red Transformer and it is eye catching. I also love her felted animal patch hats and cute felted electronics bags . You can visit her blog if you check my blog log on the right hand of the page . She always shares great crafting tips and You have to see her new puppy...it's the cutest fluff ball ever .
So Jane of Glorious hats...hats off to you . (yeah, I like puns,lol) .
Friday, November 21, 2008
Actually, I love new toys. My first job was to clean all the old glue and nasty bits off, I like my metal shiny . Then I decide that I could probably use it to hold the book block in place to glue it "IF" it had some boards for the middle bit. So I found some old wood and drilled some holes and fastened them to the middle bit....this way, I can fan the pages to get a good glue spread on the spine(honestly, I sort of know what I'm doing ). The blacknob duhicky raises the whole block up, so I figure I will glue the spine then flip it so the gluey spine is suspended but clamped while drying. Normal people use a book press for this but normal people have money and space, so I think this will save on both .
Once the spine is dry, I can use this for it's intended purpose and use it for aligning the book boards and gluing the face pages to the front and back and suspend the whole thing from the middle bit and press it while it dries. I think he said the whole thing should only take about 5 min but I assume he is talking about a parallel universe, because it will take me that long just to make sure everything is totally squared up .
As a side note...Do you realise the the spell check does not recognise the term..."blacknob duhicky"...must have been designed by some none techy sort .
A couple of finished cuffs. I made my own stone bead closures for these that attaches to an elastic cord so it is great for larger wrists . One side, teal vintage fabric...I'm thinking 1950's couch material ? (Something very nubby textured and a bit shiny .) This was sewn to some thick suede fabric after the top was beaded with some silver plated beads, glass, picture Jasper and deep red jasper . It's about two inches wide and would fit wrists from 7-8" comfortably .( The other little thingy is a leather beret . )
More color and texture for your viewing pleasure . Orange, pink,blue, moss...wool fiber, silver plate beads, copper wire, gold plate collar wire, blue lace agate, picture Jasper...throw it in a blender then wear it around your neck. What else do you have to do today ? (I'm the blender, if the metaphor eludes you) .
I was going to wrap this in beads on a copper wire, like I did for the others but I personally really like the fluffy look . This is a wool blend fiber braided over a gold plate solid wire collar . Easy on and off for the "clasp challenged" *sheepishly raises hand . These are some of my favorite colors, moss and autumn leaf . It is a bit tickly and not good for anyone with really bad wool allergies but I think it feels better then cold metal for winter neck decorating .
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Now, I can never seem to find enough time to do all the things that I want to do , things I "need" to do and things I want to learn "how" to do . I blame the Internet for this.... it feels like being a diabetic in a candy store for me. I now have hundreds of bookmarks to go read in more depth...."someday", blogs I like to visit,(and will eventually list here, when I figure out how .) There is Wrong Planet, an aspie support site that always has great threads to read and respond to as well as links to other things "aspie related" that I like to read . Then their is Etsy...forums and stores to check out. My own store to stock...which I have sadly neglected of late. Emails from the author of The Eyes of Time to try and decipher, and others from networking sites I read but seldom find time to respond to . There are several crafting related sites I like to visit and some supply stores I like to go and dream about buying things from. Once and a while, I wonder into ebay and get lost in there. Mean while, back in three dimensional space....the cats are fighting again, my BF seems to think he has something to say that I just have to hear and the dishes need washing.
So here I am, blogging into the abyss with the nagging feeling that I really should clean up the house so that the land lord can come fix the dish-washer and not evict us for the crime of clutter . Which brings me to the real delima....executive dysfunction and OCD hording.
Now, don't misunderstand, this is not an isolated Aspie trait and many aspies are pathological about keeping order in their houses . Also, I don't live in one of those houses you see condemned by social services with cat feces, piles of Newspapers and moldy dishes . It's "clean" just over flowing, like a thrift-store cornucopia ...(appropriate because that is where most of it came from.)
I am just a treasure hunter with a dislike for throwing things into land fills. Living with little money has contributed to this....remember Grandmas drawer of bits of string, bolts and gag gifts ? Mine are filled with "crafting supplies" . Perhaps the problem is that to qualify as a crafting supply you need only be something I find "cool"...bits of metal, broken jewelry, a plethora of paints, pens, rulers, leather, thread, snaps, needles, broken toys and electrical equipment, hardware, fabric scraps, doll parts, fur scraps, and Misc.
My current system of storage is boxes, piles and piles of boxes. If I had the space, I guarantee you that all this would be organized...I like to stack and line things up....but the shelves are all full of vintage toys, Asian and Mexican sculpture and pottery, Ketch bits, stuffed animals and dolls. Any free space is filled with interesting sticks, bark, shells and rocks ......and it is all "valuable" to me. Yeah, the pot has a chip and the wood sculpture has a small crack in it's base but...it's texture and sparkle and visual interest to me. If I ever look up from the computer....I am not bored . I have considered selling or donating some things and may yet, but....what if it doesn't find a home or is eventually throw in the garbage by the new owner ? It will be my fault .
I know it sounds neurotic and probably is but I'm not sure if it is because of AS and hating change or being "abandoned" as a kid and not wanting to my "object friends" . I know my biological sisters don't appear to be hoarders but my bio-mother was and is and all indications is that she is probably also an aspie . So is it the aspie gene, abandonment or a separate hording gene ? Is it years of being to broke to buy new things and having to "make do" or some primitive instinct to not be wasteful, like many native cultures who used "everything with respect and appreciation" ? Is it an emotional attachment to objects or a desire for constant visual interest ? I don't know, but what ever it is...it sure is hard to explain to the landlord .
So, today is....make neater piles day . Trying to get the fabric in mostly one place and the book binding in another is the first step . Considering it is spread between 4 separate rooms...it will be a very long day .
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Should anyone be interested in knowing more about My perspective about Aspergers, you can check the following blogs.....
I don't know if either of these links will work....My computer skills appear to be very hit and miss,( hit a key but miss the target) .
I am going to try and keep my "self riotous opinions" there...("self" centered by inclination...."riotous" because I assume I am right until corrected by information that I find more reasonable and logical then my current beliefs...."Opinions" because I know them to be just that...not facts but current biases of a belief system that is open to revision .) Right now I believe the posts are open to comment from others, but I know some of the things I say maybe miss construed or offend some people and if comments become "just mean", instead of disagreements. I will probably get rid of the feedback option . I am actually very thick skinned in someways and have no skin in other areas. Will see how it goes.
I actually bought these things a few months ago at the thrift store. I'm still debating what to do with them but love the colors and sparkle of the fabric and beaded top. For someone who rarely wear anything but flannel and T-shirts, I sure have a ton of clothing. When I shop it's not..."how would this look on me?" but "what can I make with this beautiful fabric ?" The top is silk and glass beads and I do hate to cut it up but it would be such a lovely accent on a scarf or handbag....what to do, what to do. I'm not sure what the olive fabric is made of, (one of the problems for me with thrift store fabric is I can't identify it just by look and touch. It's soft and shiny...maybe silk or synthetic...may have to do a burn test to see of it melts...hmmmm. I do have a plan for it though. I wont to make some head scarves with a layer of wool sandwiched between this and some rayon/silk blend deep violet fabric. I'm just scared to sew it because I know both fabrics are supposed to be difficult to sew(slippery) . I'm hoping the inner layer of wool will help but it will be an experiment(probably in futility), but wouldn't it be lovely if it works ?
Another bit of decadence . This leather jacket cost me $3.00 . Other then two tiny water spots and a bit of wear under the collar, it is premium shape . To small and "loud" for me to wear but even I can appreciate the craftsman ship and quality of the leather. Again, the debate is,.....consignment shop or use it myself. This will probably sit in the closet a few years while I decide. I think it would actually "hurt" to cut this up . Care to weigh in ?
I decided to treat myself to a "brief" trip to my favorite thrift-store and found out it was 50% off for Veterans Day . I don't wear "fancy clothes" but couldn't resist buying this jacket and skirt of textured leather. $7.50 for both and now I am torn between taking it to a consignment store or using the leather for my own crafting . On the one hand, I really hate to cut up something this beautifully crafted...there are a lot of very cool details...On the other hand....I love this leather and would love to make some bags and dresses for the girls with it....hmmmmm. (I think I know who is winning this internal debate...the leather lover).
A few things I made last week at work. Two more suede beaded pouches that I need to add straps to and 4 wrist cuffs made from some leather backed vintage fabric with large wooden button closures, glass and semi-precious beads. This isn't a very detailed picture but I will try and get some descent detailed photos for my shop this week. The cuffs are really comfy for someone like me, who has problems with most metal jewelry. Due to my own allergies and sensitivities, I am trying to develop some "aspie friendly accessories" for those who have similar problems with metal. Being that all aspie sensitivities are unique to that individual, it wont work for all, but I assume there are others who may like the pressure feedback from the cuff better then the tickly sensation of most hanging metal bracelets . I plan on making some " neck chokers" with the same effect...though I'm sure it would drive some aspies crazy...(Help, I'm choking), others of us like the sensory feedback of tight things to help our brains know where are bodies are in space. (OK, I know this probably sounds "crazy" to some NT's but hopefully I have a few aspie readers who know what I'm talking about ? )
This wonderful little storage container is from the author of ..."The Eyes of Time" . It seems he noticed my clutter and decided a "proper place for supplies" was called for. Thank you William . He also sent me two prints he made, but I will wait until I have better lighting to try and photo those...they are two gorgeous old prints of Tigers that he sells. ....more about that when I can get a link for WHERE he sells them because you may want one....(he probably has better pictures of them then my camera can take, so maybe I will just put the link here instead of ripping my hair out trying to get the detail of these beauties.)
Here are a "few" wonderful things sent to me by a friend and fellow member of EtsyMN group. She also happens to be one of my most generous supporters, often including me in her Etsy treasures to help promote my store and even purchasing a few of my "odd" creations. Truly a wonderful and giving person and the main reason I continue to keep making things for my store despite the economy and general lack of sales. So this is my chance to say....Thank You Jane...... of Glorioushats ....for your support and encouragement
It's appreciated more then I can put into words...(like that ever stopped me from blathering on).
Included here are some tiny vegetables to put into the little pouch's I make for my dolls, some of the nicest leather I have ever felt...buttery soft and rich colors for the books and girls' clothes, suede for the girls dresses, a beautiful card that I believe she purchased on on Etsy and a vintage doll.
Originally, I thought the doll was meant for me to turn into one of my "re-purposed dolls" and I was going to send it back with the new decorations but....How can I re-purpose something that is already so special in it's own rights. It just struck me as sacrilegious to alter a vintage doll. So, change of plans. I am hunting for the perfect modern doll, to take back in time 40,000 years. I'm still looking . Many of the smallest dolls are either not well made(plastic with seams) or look like babies but I want a little girl not a baby but the girls I like the best are mostly 14-20"...American Girls(TM) and bigger then she would like...so I keep my eyes open and believe the right girl will find me.